A Matter of Honour
by petrichors
Summary: James acts out after vicious taunts against Lily, and Lily is forced to let her guard down.


He'd snapped. He'd never meant to act out the way he did, but sometimes his instincts got the better of him and he couldn't control himself. He hated that he'd done it, but more than that, he hated that she saw it. She'd seen him hex people countless times over the years, but he'd changed his ways. But she'd never seen him resort to physical violence. It wasn't like him. There were only two previous encounters he'd had before which had ended in him hitting someone. The first, was in second year, when Damian Avery had made fun of the scars on Remus' face. The second, was in fifth year, when he'd seen Snape harassing Lily after she'd made clear the friendship was over. But she hadn't seen either of those times, and now the horror that was dawning on her face made his heart feel as though it had torn in two.

It's not like it had been completely uncalled for. What had started off as a perfectly innocent Hogsmeade date with Lily, had turned vicious as they walked the path towards the Shrieking Shack. They'd spent the best part of the cold, snowy afternoon in The Three Broomsticks, sipping warm Butterbeer. When the pub had started to get a little too crowded, James suggested they go for a walk, to which Lily happily obliged. They'd been walking along the deserted path on one of the side streets when it had happened. Lily felt the first attack. Nothing too vicious, just a Stinging Hex, but as she cried out in pain and shock, anger immediately boiled in James. _No-one _hurt his Lily. The second aimed jinx had missed, but the culprits were spotted and both James and Lily whipped their wands out as Malfoy, Nott and Mulciber had approached them, cruel amusement evident on their faces.

"You want to keep your girlfriend reigned in, Potter!" Malfoy had shouted to the laughter of his cronies. The three of them stopped mere metres from where Lily's hand was now tightly clasped in James'. "Don't want her getting hurt now, do we?"

James gritted his teeth, pulling Lily closer to him. "What do you want?" he growled, his eyes darting dangerously between the three Slytherins.

"It'd be such a shame, too," Nott sneered, taking a step closer. "She's so pretty."

James' grip on Lily's hand had grown tighter still as she paled, a lump rising in her throat.

"Bugger off," she retorted stiffly, refusing to let them get to her. The Slytherins laughed, Malfoy fingering his wand carefully, not taking his eyes off the pair. James and Lily took a careful step backwards.

Mulciber's eyes darkened a little, his gaze firmly held on Lily. "Don't worry, Potter. I'll show her what a real man's like before she's disposed of." James wand was at Mulciber's neck; Mulciber simply sneered once more as Lily tried to tug James away from him. "Waste of beauty if you ask me," Mulciber muttered. Malfoy snorted.

"You can admire her filthy blood when it's spread over the Dark Lord's floor then," Lucius muttered. "I can assure you, the Mudblood will be no great loss."

That's when it happened.

James' fist swung around and collided with Malfoy's jaw. His eyes were wide and dangerous as Malfoy was knocked to the ground and James hurled obscenities between hexes at the blonde whilst Lily threw hexes at the others who were aiming for James. He wanted to hurt Malfoy. Never before had he wanted so desperately to cause pain to another person, and as Lily eventually managed to pull him away from the scene, he continued throwing curses over his shoulder. She pulled him into a lit alleyway, her eyes hard as she glared at him. He couldn't understand why she was so angry – he'd only been standing up for her, after all.

"You stupid idiot!" she exclaimed, her jaw clenched as her eyes flashed. James' jaw dropped slightly. Was she seriously yelling at _him_? He was hardly the one at fault. "You could be expelled for that! Don't you ever think about your actions? For Merlin's sake, James, learn to control your anger!" he could hear the cracks in her voice though, and it was then that he realised. She wasn't angry at him. She was scared. But Lily, beautiful, brave, stubborn Lily would never show her fear, and so she hid it behind anger.

"Lily…" he began, but she was having none of it.

"Don't you understand, James? Don't you see how much trouble you're going to be in?"

He tried again. "Lily-"

Her voice was starting to shake now and he knew there couldn't be much fight left in her. Soon she was going to have to let her guard down. Let him help her.

"I hate you!" she cried and he tried to hide the pang in his chest at her words. He knew she didn't mean it, but it hurt to hear those words coming from her mouth. He knew she was going to break at any point, and so he reached his arms around her, trying to calm her down.

"No!" she shouted, pulling away from him. "I hate you! I hate you and I hate this stupid war! I can't stand it, James, I can't- " and suddenly tears were pouring down her face, and as he pulled her into his arms, she didn't object. He held her tight, her words turning to incoherent sobs and he could feel her shaking in his arms and it _killed _him to see her so upset.

"I hate this, James." She said simply, her voice much weaker, much quieter than before as she buried her face in the refuge of his neck.

"I know," he replied, tilting his face down to kiss her temple tenderly. Moving her face up to his, he looked into her eyes. "I know." And as he kissed her, he felt her relax in his arms. Her salty tears mingled with the kiss, but neither of them cared. It was deep and it was passionate and it was loving and he felt her breath start to return to its normal, steady pace, and the last of her tears spilled from her eyes. Pulling back as he gently broke the kiss, James brushed the tears from her stained cheeks gently with his thumb. "I love you," he murmured, his hazel eyes searching her emerald ones; reassuring her. Wiping her eye, Lily nodded and moved her face forward again so her lips brushed against his as she whispered, "I love you too."


End file.
